I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
