I only kidnapped one of them. chill
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
