My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
