My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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