My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
