I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm at about main and main street
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
