she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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