i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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