Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have grass duct taped all over my body
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
