I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
