I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
