whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
