True but thats because hes a fetus.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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