I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My breasts were aching with rage.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
