I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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