my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm at about main and main street
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
