Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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