I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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