Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize