I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
