I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
