Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i think i just lost a toe
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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