He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
