Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
