I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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