Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize