If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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