I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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