I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
