the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
