Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
