Only a mothe r could love this liver
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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