I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
