you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize