Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
