I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
