I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize