Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
