is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
