you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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