Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Boobs are out for the taking
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
