That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
