After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
