Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I party with great urgency now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
