Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
