Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Text me some of your sweat
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize