And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
