two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
