can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
