I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
