Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
