I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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