he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
