That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
