this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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