Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
