420 ftw
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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