so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize