dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
