Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Welp...herpes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
