I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
