I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
God, I missed his penis.
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