i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
