im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I came so hard my ears popped.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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