hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
