everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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