if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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