Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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