It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
